


i find comfort in the stars and the planets and you

by itzijn



Category: Saw (Movies)
Genre: Adam Faulkner-Stanheight Lives, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anxiety Attacks, Best Friends, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Late Night Conversations, Platonic Relationships, Post-Bathroom Trap (Saw), adam becomes an apprentice and moves in with amanda, kind of a vent fic ngl
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:28:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25796674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itzijn/pseuds/itzijn
Summary: Amanda always made him feel safe, beginning right when she came to save him from the bathroom that he was left for dead in. She was his savior, and he was eternally grateful. She helped to show him a new lifestyle, a way to bring change to this damned world and throw away everything he had ever known. But better than that, she was his best friend, and he knew that she felt the same.
Relationships: Adam Faulkner-Stanheight & Amanda Young
Kudos: 14





	i find comfort in the stars and the planets and you

**Author's Note:**

> hello everyone!! this is my first saw fic, and it's kind of a vent fic? idk i'm very happy with it though and i hope you all are as well <3 (make sure to follow me on twitter!!: @hctohner)

Adam paced back and forth, the bitterness of the cold tiles on the bathroom floor slowly numbing his feet through his thin cotton socks. He inhaled deeply as he took a couple steps towards the tall wooden door with the chipped paint that flaked all over the floor and made quite a mess, and exhaled while walking back towards the far end of the room towards the light grey wall with the towel hooks. He repeated this motion, not knowing anymore if it helped him calm down and think straight, or just made everything worse. 

The overhead light flickered slightly, and Adam involuntarily squinted a little, but didn’t break his stride. His hands shook slightly, and he grabbed onto the sides of his pants to try to get them to stop. It was only until he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror out of the corner of his eye that he turned and stopped his pacing. 

He stood completely still, staring at the person in the mirror that he did not recognize. He was a mess. His hair was a little too long and stuck out every which way from hours of running his hands through it and sleepless tossing and turning in his bed. His worn-out, brown sweater was wrinkled and hung loosely on his thin frame. The circles under his eyes were especially noticeable, and a tiny bit of blood began to trickle out of his right nostril.

“Shit--” Adam muttered to himself, and he wiped it away with the back of his hand. He stared at the smear, and then back up at the mirror. A thin line of blood trailed across the right side of his face. It was faint, but it was there. 

He tried to take another deep breath, but it got caught in his throat, and a small squeak came out instead. That was the breaking point. Adam suddenly broke into silent, but heart wrenching and earth shattering sobs. He grabbed at the wall behind him, looking for something to break his fall as he slowly slid down until he was sitting on the floor, his arms around his knees. 

His forehead was pressed into his legs and his arms covered his ears, so he did not hear the door slowly creak open. A few moments passed, and he suddenly heard a faint voice to his left:

“Adam?”

Adam snapped his head up, taken aback by the presence of someone else in here with him. Standing in the doorway was Amanda. Her thin black hair fell in front of her eyes, covering the top half of them, but Adam could still make out the intense look of concern that was held within them. She was wearing an old t-shirt that belonged to John, and a pair of oversized sweatpants that dragged on the floor when she walked. 

Adam’s eyes were drawn to her right hand, which gripped the door knob so tightly that her knuckles were turning white. He quickly stood up, and wiped away his tears with his sleeve. The two stood in silence, not knowing what to say. Amanda stared at Adam, while Adam looked anywhere but at her. Amanda was the one to break the silence.

“You want to talk about it?” she whispered, her voice raspy from sleep, and let go of the doorknob and dropped her arms to her sides. Adam sniffed, and finally looked up at her and her kind emerald eyes. 

Amanda always made him feel safe, beginning right when she came to save him from the bathroom that he was left for dead in. She was his savior, and he was eternally grateful. She helped to show him a new lifestyle, a way to bring change to this damned world and throw away everything he had ever known. But better than that, she was his best friend, and he knew that she felt the same.

“Did I wake you up?” Adam mumbled, and began to nibble on the inside of his cheek. Amanda smiled slightly and shook her head.

“Don’t worry, I was just getting a glass of water and saw the light on under the door.” Adam was relieved and laughed a little at that, letting go of some of the tension in his body. It dawned on him that that was the first time he had genuinely smiled in days. 

A moment passed, and he sighed.

“Uh, sorry, I’ll go back to sleep. I don’t want to bother you,” he stammered, and began to push his way past Amanda through the doorway. He almost made it all the way out before she grabbed his wrist.

“I don’t think so,” she teased before letting go and reaching up to rest her hand on the light switch. “Let’s go out on the balcony. I read somewhere that you can see Mars tonight.” 

She flicked the switch, and they were swallowed by the sudden darkness. This was no concern for them, as they very easily knew their way around their little two-bedroom apartment, even though it had been a little less than a year since they moved in. Amanda led the way while Adam followed close behind her.

Once they reached the glass door that led to their balcony, Amanda turned the lock, and a soft click filled the room, which was otherwise still with the peaceful silence of the night. She stepped outside, and immediately went to the railing and looked out at the night sky. It was four on a Wednesday morning, which is too late for the nighttime partiers, and too early for the busy businessmen, so the town was practically dead. Amanda felt at peace.

Adam came up next to her and looked out at the town as well. He took a deep breath, the crisp March air tickling his throat.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Amanda sighed, still staring ahead. “The quiet city, the beautiful night sky,” Adam smiled to himself, taking in the view.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

Adam suddenly rubbed his face and exhaled into his hands, causing Amanda to draw her attention away from the scenery and towards the man standing next to her.

“So tell me,” Amanda turned on her heel and sat on one of the chairs near the back of the balcony, and Adam followed. “Is it the nightmares again?”

Adam didn’t respond right away, and the pair sat in the darkness, the coldness of the night pricking the napes of their necks and the tips of their fingers.

“Yes and no. The nightmares are still here, which is fucking fantastic, but it’s not that right now. I just can’t sleep. I can’t fall asleep, and in the rare occasions that I do, I wake from a dreamless sleep within the next twenty minutes. So I’m just a fucking mess right now, I guess.” 

He ran his fingers through his hair and turned to face Amanda, who was staring at the ground. She felt his gaze on her and looked back up at him. Somewhere below them, a door slammed.

“I’m so sorry, Adam. I wish there was something I could do to help, I really do,”

“No. No, I’m not your responsibility, and--”

“But you’re one of the only fucking people who truly matter to me, and I care for you so much,” Amanda interrupted. “I hate seeing you like this, and I wish I could just do something to make everything right.”

Adam licked his lips.

“I was going to say that you are helping. If it wasn’t for you, I would still be sobbing on my ass in the bathroom right now,” Adam said with a smirk. 

Amanda suppressed a laugh and sharply blew some air out through her nose. She began to fumble with her shirt, and looked back up at the sky.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. I’m just that awesome,” she giggled as she turned to face Adam, who rolled his eyes overdramatically. They both broke into laughter, and once it ended, they gazed out towards the stars.

“So, where’s Mars?” Adam asked.

“Oh, shit, you’re right! I forgot all about Mars,” Amanda cried, and jumped out of her chair to lean up against the balcony. Her head turned slowly as she scanned the sky, and then stopped suddenly. “I found it! It’s right there.”

Adam stood up and stepped forward so he could see where Amanda was pointing. After a couple seconds of searching, Adam found it. A bright red standing out against all the stars: Mars.

“That’s actually really cool.”

“I know right! Apparently it’s only visible from Earth once every fifteen years,” Amanda exclaimed, and wiggled her fingers to help dramatize her point. 

The pair stared at the beautiful dot in the sky in silence, just grateful to be in each other’s company.

“So... it’s too late to go back to bed,” Adam commented, turning back to look at the apartment behind them. “Want to go grab some coffee and get an early breakfast? I’m really craving some buttermilk pancakes”

“Sure,” Amanda replied with a big smile. “Should I change or wear my pajamas?”

Adam gawked, “I’m not fucking changing. Who is there to dress up for at the diner at four in the morning?”

Amanda’s smile grew even larger.

“Good point,” she stood in silence while staring out at the sky for a second before whipping her head back towards Adam. “Last one to the car has to pay!”

She darted back inside, and Adam’s jaw dropped. He stood frozen for a split second before breaking into a run and following her inside.

“Oh, you’re on!”


End file.
